COUNSELING-CHRISTIAN

 

 


 

The process of biblical change, explained in God’s Word, begins when you repent of your sin and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.  God has given you everything you need to make the changes in your life that will please Him and will lead to His blessings.  As you continue to obey God’s Word, biblical change toward maturity will occur in your life until you see Jesus face to face.

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 2, Page 3, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

You can never truly understand or help others, even in your own family, unless you first look thoroughly into your own life and deal with your own sins without compromise, excuses, or evasion (Matthew 7:1-5).

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 2, Page 7, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

Neglecting or refusing God’s ways brings multiplied problems.  To deal effectively with your problems, you must realize your inadequacy and turn to the power of God for salvation.  Then, you will be able to make the necessary biblical changes that characterize a child of God as you reverently depend on God and His Word.

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 5, Page 1, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

Man’s “solutions” to your difficulties will ultimately fail because they do not deal with the source of your problems: your heart.  God’s solutions, as revealed in Scripture, go to the heart of the matter where permanent change is accomplished.

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 5, Page 4, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

When you willingly or unknowingly are under the control of any power other than God’s Holy Spirit (e.g., drugs, alcohol, sex, another person, your peer group, a false religion, a self-centered habit such as gossip or laziness, or a self-oriented desire for power, food, or wealth), you are in bondage to sin.  However, God has broken the power of sin through the Lord Jesus Christ, and you can overcome sinful habits by depending on His strength and being obedient to His Word.

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 20, Page 1, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

God has defeated Satan through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Through this overwhelming victory, God has also empowered you to overcome any temptation to sin and has provided sufficient resources for you to respond biblically to any problem of life.  By relying on God’s power and being obedient to His Word, you can be an overcomer in any situation.

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 21, Page 2, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

As you obey God’s Word and rely on His strengthening power, you can count on biblical change to occur in every area of your life.

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 6, Page 1, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

The supreme challenge you will face in making Christ-honoring, biblical changes is dying to self.  The biblical perspective concerning “self” is exactly opposite to what the wisdom of this world proclaims.

 

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 9, Page 1, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

 


 

Do not open your heart to every man, but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and who fears God.

 

Thomas a Kempis

 


 

Don’t just share your struggles, and above all, don’t just commiserate with one another.  Remember, we are to be ministers of grace to each other.  We are to seek to be avenues of the Holy Spirit to help the other person appropriate the grace of God.  Praying with and for one another, sharing applicable portions of Scripture, and helping each other submit to God’s providential dealings with us, must characterize our times together.

 

Jerry Bridges

Transforming Grace, NavPress, 1991, p. 193. Used by permission of NavPress – www.navpress.com. All rights reserved.

 


 

The would-be counselor should have some basic knowledge of human psychology, normal and abnormal. He must be a good listener, slow to interrupt, until he feels sure that he has something worthwhile to contribute, some helpful question to ask. The counselor should be genuinely humble and receptive, with an objective approach to the problem under discussion, and he should avoid all well worn clichés, truisms and easy slick solutions. He is not there to sermonize or to moralize – certainly not till he has heard all that the enquirer has to say, and he must avoid a holier-than-thou attitude. Further, he should not show shocked surprise, disapproval or condemnation.

 

D.J.C. Dawson

Quoted by Derick Bingham, Encouragement – Oxygen for the Soul, Christian Focus, 1997, p. 70. Used by Permission.

 


 

The counselor is perhaps better equipped for his task, if he has experienced personal difficulties, problems, doubts and fears, even a sense of guilt and failure, perplexity and distress, but has come through to peace, both spiritually and emotionally.

 

Derick Bingham

Encouragement – Oxygen for the Soul, Christian Focus, 1997, p. 71. Used by Permission.

 


 

Though we are all Christians together, we are all different, and the problems and the difficulties, the perplexities and the trials that we are likely to meet are in a large measure determined by the difference of temperament and of type. We are all in the same fight, of course, as we share the same common salvation, and have the same common central need. But the manifestations of the trouble vary from case to case and from person to person. There is nothing more futile, when dealing with [a] condition, than to act on the assumption that all Christians are identical in every respect. They are not, and they are not even meant to be.

 

Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Spiritual Depression – Its Causes and its Cures, 1965, p. 15, Used by Permission from Elizabeth Catherwood (daughter).

 


 

Counseling Principles:

1.  When seeking to bring about change, never attempt to do so in the abstract; people change only in concrete ways.

2.  Always give hope.  People will not persevere during the often-difficult process of change without hope.

3.  Never minimize the severity of problems; instead always maximize Christ and His power to solve problems.

4.  If a person has a life-dominating problem, aim at total restructuring.

5.  Always approach the seemingly hopeless situations with emphatic disagreement.  Empathy alone removes all possibility of help.  Disagree when the counselee says, “It’s hopeless.”  Say, “It is difficult, but not too difficult for God.”

6.  Don’t become orientated toward people’s problems, but toward God’s solutions.

7.  Gauge how much change is now feasible; too little is boring, too much is discouraging.

8.  Don’t let people settle for less than the scriptural solution.

9.  Use biblical, or biblically derived, language when analyzing and labeling problems, and when planning solutions to them.

10.  Be command-oriented rather than feeling-oriented.

 

Jay Adams

Preaching with a Purpose, Zondervan, 1982, p. 125-126.

 


 

Be patient. Is God not fast enough? Are His answers too tough? A quick sympathy from a friend may suggest that you simply drop out, be good to yourself, get away from it all. Someone else will be sure to say, “You need counsel.” Are you sure? One hour at the foot of the Cross may obviate the necessity of professional counseling (no such thing existed until the twentieth century – what did folks do before then?)

 

Elisabeth Elliot

Secure in the Everlasting Arms, Revell, 2002, p. 127.