FORGIVENESS-OTHERS-TO

When I become bitter or unforgiving toward others, I’m assuming that the sins of others are more serious than my sins against God. The cross transforms my perspective. Through the cross I realize that no sin committed against me will ever be as serious as the innumerable sins I’ve committed against God. When we understand how much God has forgiven us, it’s not difficult to forgive others.

C.J. Mahaney

The Cross Centered Life, 2002, Sovereign Grace Ministries, p. 81. Used by permission of Multnomah Publishers, Inc. Excerpts may not be reproduced without prior written consent of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.

Because we are the most forgiven people in the world, we should be the most forgiving people in the world.

C.J Mahaney

Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood, ed. Wayne Grudem and Dennis Rainey, Crossway, 2002, p. 202.

God’s forgiveness is an outpouring of abundant grace and mercy that provides pardon to the guilty. Although God’s forgiveness does not necessarily release the offender from the physical or material consequences of his sin, it provides full release from the guilt of the wrongdoing. For you to practice biblical forgiveness, you must understand and accept God’s gracious forgiveness of you and must follow His example in providing forgiveness to others.

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 12, Page 3, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

Asking for forgiveness from others in a scriptural manner involves acknowledging that you have sinned against them and that you desire mercy and pardon (not to be given what you deserve). Asking for forgiveness is vital for reconciliation and may lead to the difference in the relationship.

Biblical Counseling Foundation

Self-Confrontation Manuel, Lesson 12, Page 6, Used by Permission of the Biblical Counseling Foundation.

The practice of comprehensive forgiveness overcomes our love of being right, our actual enjoyment and treasuring of our sense of being wronged… The constant practice of forgiveness leaves no room for self-righteousness. Frustrated condemnation of others and treasuring of old wrongs are not part of the artillery of God, but the slithering, slimy, deadly creatures of the Prince of Darkness.

C. John Miller and Barbara Miller Juliani

Come Back, Barbara, P&R, 1997, p. 79-80.

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.

Author Unknown

[True forgiveness means] laying down our right to remain angry and giving up our claim to future repayment of the debt we have suffered.

Brian J. Dodd

Taken from Praying Jesus’ Way: A Guide for Beginners and Veterans, © 1997, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA. Used with permission of IVP, P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove, IL 60515. www.ivpress.com, p. 101.

Our forgiving others is not a cause of God’s forgiving us, but it is a condition without which He will not forgive us (Mt. 6:12).

Thomas Watson

The Lord’s Prayer, 1692.

We need not climb up into heaven to see whether our sins are forgiven: let us look into our hearts, and see if we can forgive others. If we can, we need not doubt but God as forgiven us.

Thomas Watson

A Puritan Golden Treasury, compiled by I.D.E. Thomas, by permission of Banner of Truth, Carlisle, PA. 2000, p. 111.

Mercy, like the regions of space, has no limit, and as these stretch away before the traveler who looks out from the farthest star, so the loftiest intellect and the largest heart can discover no bounds to mercy. Like our Father in heaven, we are to forgive without stint, forgiving as we expect to be forgiven.

Donald Guthrie

The grace we receive in forgiveness gives the grace to be forgiving.

Philip Graham Ryken

There is such a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. It takes two to reconcile, so it is not always possible to be reconciled. But it takes only one to forgive. So if people do you wrong, forgive them, whether or not they ask for forgiveness. You cannot cancel their sin. Only God can do that, and He will only do it if they repent. But what you can do is set aside your own anger, bitterness, and resentment towards them.

Philip Graham Ryken

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (Matt. 18:35). It is either forgive or perish. God has forgiven the infinite debt of your sin. Now you must forgive anyone who sins against you. Otherwise, you prove that you have never received forgiveness in the first place, that you are still in God's debt and therefore liable to the perfect severity of His justice.

Philip Graham Ryken

The ability to forgive is one of the surest signs of having been forgiven. It is part of the proof that we have received God's grace… Those who are truly forgiven, truly forgive. The sins they commit are of greater importance to them than the sins they suffer.

Philip Graham Ryken

Forgiveness brings great joy, not only to the forgiven, but especially to the forgiver. The Greek term for “forgiveness” (aphiemi) comes from a word that means “to let go.” Forgiveness is a release, a letting go of self-destructive feelings such as anger, bitterness and revenge. Those attitudes poison intimacy with God and harmony with human beings.

Philip Graham Ryken

Forgiveness is not that stripe which says, "I will forgive, but not forget." It is not to bury the hatchet with the handle sticking out of the ground, so you can grasp it the minute you want it.

D.L. Moody

Christian History, n. 25.

Forgiveness of others in the believer is so standard, so much a part of what it means to be a Christian, that no true believer is without it. If you are not a forgiver, you are not forgiven. To not be forgiven is to be damned to spend eternity in hell.

Jim Elliff
Confessionism: The Misuse of 1 John 1:9, Christian Communicators Worldwide, www.CCWtoday.org. Used by Permission.

It is the experience of having been forgiven (by Christ) which releases the generous impulses to forgive others (Matt. 18:23-35), just as it is the refusal to forgive which betrays the reality that forgiveness has not been received, that the individual has not even recognized the need for forgiveness (Matt. 6:14-15). A community has hope of holding together and growing together only when the need for forgiveness is recognized on each side where fault has been committed and only when forgiveness is both offered and received.

James Dunn

It's nothing but sheer wickedness for you not to forgive your offender for what he's done, in light of all that you've been forgiven (by Christ). When you compare the trivial offenses which you must forgive, with the enormous, eternal offenses you've committed against a holy God, the point is uncontestable.

Lou Priolo

The Complete Husband, Calvary Press, 1999, P. 111, www.calvarypress.com.

Those who persist in harboring an unforgiving spirit toward others who have wronged them are guilty of not believing God’s promise to see to matters Himself (Rom. 12:19).

Daniel Fuller

The Unity of the Bible, Zondervan, 1994, p. 288.

Whenever I see myself before God and realize something of what my blessed Lord has done for me at Calvary, I am ready to forgive anybody anything. I cannot withhold it. I do not even want to withhold it.

Martin Lloyd-Jones

[Forgiveness] – What a mighty power is love that can overcome evil, cover painful memories, forgive, forgo revenge and arrest resentment.

Alexander Strauch

Leading With Love, Lewis and Roth, 2006, p. 73, Used by Permission.

We are not called to forgive others in order to earn God's love; rather, having experienced His love, we have the basis and motive to forgive others.

Pat Morison

Forgive! As the Lord Forgave You, P&R Publishing, 1987, p. 7, Used by Permission.

We take God’s forgiveness for granted [when] we stubbornly withhold our forgiveness from others. In effect, we behave as though other’s sins against us are more serious than our sins against God.

Ken Sande

Reprinted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Ken Sande, Baker Books, 3d ed., 2004, p. 217. Peacemaker^® Ministries. www.Peacemaker.net. Used by Permission.

Forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises:

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”

“I will not talk to others about this incident.”

“I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”

Ken Sande

Reprinted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Ken Sande, Baker Books, 3d ed., 2004, p. 209. Peacemaker^® Ministries. www.Peacemaker.net. Used by Permission.

Christians are the most forgiven people in the world. Therefore, we should be the most forgiving people in the world.

Ken Sande

Reprinted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Ken Sande, Baker Books, 3d ed., 2004, p. 204. Peacemaker^® Ministries. www.Peacemaker.net. Used by Permission.

Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.

Phillips Brooks

You are nothing better than deceitful hypocrites if you harbor in your minds a single unforgiving thought. There are some sins which may be in the heart, and yet you may be saved. But you cannot be saved unless you are forgiving. If we do not choose to forgive, we choose to be damned.

C.H. Spurgeon

Sermons, 13.718.

A stiff apology is a second insult.

G.K. Chesterton

Often we refuse to forgive others because we mistakenly think that to do so is to minimize their sin. “And that’s not fair! He really hurt me. If I forgive, who’s going to care for me and take up my cause and nurse my wounds?” God is. We must never buy into the lie that to forgive means that sin is being whitewashed or ignored or that the perpetrator is not being held accountable for his/her actions. It simply means we consciously choose to let God be the one who determines the appropriate course of action in dealing justly with the offending person… To long for justice is entirely legitimate, but to seek it for yourself is not. Let God deal with the offender in his own way at the appropriate time. He’s much better at it than your or I.

Sam Storms
Forgiveness: What It Is, What It Is Not, November 8, 2006, www.enjoyinggodministries.com. Used by Permission.

[Forgiveness] is [often] deciding to live with the painful consequences of another person’s sin. You are going to have to live with it anyway, so you might as well do it without the bitterness and rancor and hatred that threaten to destroy your soul.

Sam Storms
Forgiveness: What It Is, What It Is Not, November 8, 2006, www.enjoyinggodministries.com. Used by Permission.

The way we cancel the debt of one who has sinned against us is by promising not to bring it up to the offender, to others, or to ourselves. We joyfully resolve never to throw the sin back into the face of the one who committed it. We promise never to hold it over their head, using it to manipulate and shame them. And we promise never to bring it up to others in an attempt to justify ourselves or to undermine their reputation. And lastly, we promise never to bring it up to ourselves as grounds for self-pity or to justify our resentment of the person who hurt us.

Sam Storms
Forgiveness: What It Is, What It Is Not, November 8, 2006, www.enjoyinggodministries.com. Used by Permission.

True forgiveness pursues relationship and restoration. True forgiveness is not satisfied with simply canceling the debt. It longs to love again.

Sam Storms
Forgiveness: What It Is, What It Is Not, November 8, 2006, www.enjoyinggodministries.com. Used by Permission.

Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.

Henry Ward Beecher

I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.

Henry Ward Beecher

The degree to which I am able and willing to forgive others is a clear indication of the extent to which I have personally experienced God my Father’s forgiveness for me. The corollary to this is that anyone who is not willing to forgive another has certainly not known God’s loving forgiveness.

Philip Keller

To the world at large this was a sad waste of five young lives. But God has His plan and purpose in all things… The prayers of the widows themselves are for the Aucas. We look forward to the day when these savages will join us in Christian praise. Plans were promptly formulated for continuing the work of the martyrs.

Elisabeth Elliot

Through Gates of Splendor, Tyndale, 1981, 252-254.

Unforgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die.

Author Unknown

We tend to be far more ungenerous in forgiving others than God is in forgiving us. If God were to be as reluctant to forgive as we are in forgiving those who sin against us, we would be in serious trouble. As Christians we are forgiven people. We are likewise called to be forgiving people. Jesus clearly sets forth an ethic of charity in His teaching and in His behavior with those who wrong us. An unwillingness to forgive clearly has no place in the kingdom, and may in fact signal that such a one has not experienced the initial forgiveness of God in his or her life.

R.C. Sproul

The Purpose of God, An Exposition of Ephesians, Christian Focus Publications, 1994, p. 120.

Revenge indeed seems often sweet to men, but oh, it is only sugared poison, only sweetened gall. Forgiving enduring love alone is sweet and blissful and enjoys peace and the consciousness of God’s favor. By forgiving it gives away and annihilates the injury. It treats the injurer as if he had not injured and therefore feels no more the smart and sting that he had inflicted.

William Arnot
The Parables of our Lord, 1884.

To forgive without [scolding], even by manner or look, is a high exercise of grace – it is imitation of Christ.

R.C. Chapman

Quoted in Agape Leadership, Lewis and Roth, 1991, p. 39.

Forgiving costs us our sense of justice. We all have this innate sense deep within our souls, but it has been perverted by our selfish sinful natures. We want to see “justice” done, but the justice we envision satisfies our own interests. We must realize that justice has been done. God is the only rightful administrator of justice in all of creation, and His justice has been satisfied. In order to forgive our brother, we must be satisfied with God’s justice and forego the satisfaction of our own.

Jerry Bridges

The person who is living by grace sees this vast contrast between his own sins against God and the offenses of others against him. He forgives others because he himself has been so graciously forgiven. He realizes that, by receiving God’s forgiveness through Christ, he has forfeited the right to be offended when others hurt him.

Jerry Bridges