MARRIAGE-SUCCESS
The Puritan
ethic of marriage was to look not for a partner whom you do love passionately
at this moment, but rather for one whom you can love steadily as your best
friend for life, and then to proceed with God's help to do just that. The
Puritan ethic of nurture was to train up children in the way they should go, to
care for their bodies and souls together, and to educate them for sober, godly,
socially useful adult living. The Puritan way of home life was based on
maintaining order, courtesy and family worship.
Goodwill, patience, consistency and an encouraging attitude were seen as
the essential domestic virtues.
Who Are the Puritans? Evangelical Press, p.
139.
Just like
Adam, you must individually receive your mate as God's provision for your need
for companionship. Receiving your mate demonstrates your faith in God's
integrity. Adam's focus was on God's flawless character, not Eve's performance.
He knew God and knew that God could be trusted. Adam enthusiastically received
Eve because he knew she was from God. Adam's faith in God enabled him to
receive Eve as God's perfect provision for him.
Dennis Rainey
Preparing for Marriage, 1997, p.
94-95, Gospel Light/Regal Books, Ventura, CA 93003, Used by Permission.
[Regarding
marriage:] First, he must choose his love, and then he must love his choice.
Henry Smith
A Puritan Golden Treasury, compiled by I.D.E. Thomas, by permission of Banner of Truth, Carlisle, PA. 2000, p. 179.
It often
happens that when couples get their relationship to God straightened out, their
relationships with one another begin to straighten out as well.
Wayne A. Mack
Strengthening Your Marriage, P&R
Publishing, 1977, p. 125. Used by
Permission.
Wherever you
find marital failure, you will find a breakdown in real communication. Wherever
you find marital success, you will find a good communication system.
Wayne Mack
Strengthening Your Marriage, 1999,
P&R, p. 56, Used by Permission.
Let the wife
make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
Martin Luther
To have peace
and love in a marriage is a gift that is next to the knowledge of the gospel.
Martin Luther
The Later Years and Legacy, Christian History,
Issue 39.
Take every
opportunity which your nearness provides to be speaking seriously to each other
about the matters of God, and your salvation. Discussing those things of this
world no more than required. And then talk together of the
state and duty of your souls towards God, and of your hopes of heaven, as those
that take these for their greatest business. And don't speak lightly, or
unreverently, or in a rude and disputing manner; but
with gravity and sobriety, as those that are discussing the most important
things in the whole world.
Richard Baxter
The Mutual Duties of Husbands and Wives Towards Each Other, n. 30, Baxter’s Practical Works.
Join together
in frequent and fervent prayer. Prayer forces the mind into sobriety, and moves
the heart with the presence and majesty of God. Pray also for each other when
you are in secret, that God may do that work which you most desire, upon each
other's hearts.
Richard Baxter
The Mutual Duties of Husbands and Wives Towards Each Other, n. 37b, Baxter’s Practical Works.
When I have
learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly
dearest better than I do now.
C.S. Lewis
Compatibility
is not the key to marriage… It is our
conviction, based on experience in ministry and God’s Word, that two Christians
who share an attraction, who are committed in faith to God through Christ, and
who are determined to obey the Bible’s teachings will be able to love each
other in marriage.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 158. Used by Permission.
A
great many Christian books and counselors hail compatibility as the key to a successful
and happy marriage. In our view, this reflects the consumer model of our
secular culture more than the sacrificial model found in Holy Scripture.
Marriage, experts tell us, works only when our needs and desires are met. But
no such teaching is found in the Bible. In Scripture, we find that marriage
works as a man and a woman stand before God in obedient faith, giving instead
of taking, and serving instead of demanding. This is our problem with the
emphasis on finding a compatible companion: it turns the whole of the Christian
life on its head. Jesus said of Himself, “The Son of Man came not to be served
but to serve” (Matt. 20:28), and surely marital love can be built on no other
foundation.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 155-156. Used by Permission.
Marriage is a
call to die [to self]… Christian marriage vows are the inception of a lifelong
practice of death, of giving over not only all you have, but all you are.
Is this a grim gallows call? Not at all! It is no more grim
than dying to self and following Christ. In fact, those who lovingly die for
their [spouses] are those who know the most joy, have the most fulfilling
marriages, and experience the most love.
R. Kent Hughes
Disciplines of a Godly Man, Crossway Books,
1991, p. 35-36.
Staying
married, therefore, is not mainly about staying in love. It is about keeping
covenant. “Till death do us part” or “As long as we both shall live” is a
sacred covenant promise – the same kind Jesus made with His bride when He died
for her.
John Piper
This
Momentary Marriage – A Parable of Permanence, Desiring God Foundation, 2008, p.
25, www.DesiringGod.org.
Feelings
are a poor foundation for marriage, but they can be a wonderful, glorious
by-product.
John
MacArthur
Matthew 16-23, Moody, 1988, p. 174.
If you are
having troubles with your spouse it is not because of what you think of him or
her, it is not because of negative thought patterns, it is not because you
haven't first loved self. But it is what you think of Jesus. Do you love Him
First? Do you live for Him First? Is your life, His? If you are right with
Jesus Christ the King of Glory, then it will be right with your husband or your
wife. And this is what is right with God.
Author Unknown