PARENTING-MANNERS-TEACHING
Manners are about respect
and thus are rooted in the Christian ethic modeled by Christ- my life for
your life. Self-sacrifice,
therefore, is at the heart of manners… Manners do not make the man or
woman. The radical reorientation that
says “my life for your life” can only come from the regenerating work of
Christ, who instills His life and ethic in us.
Nevertheless, manners teach the need for and complement of the character
that Christ’s life gives. Lives that
say “my life for yours” are channels of God’s grace to a needy world.
Disciplines of a Godly Family, Crossway Books, 2004, p. 124,
133.
Here’s our own list that
emerged in our childrearing years:
1. Don’t be a tattletale. 2.
If you receive a gift you don’t like, do your best not to show
disappointment. And say something nice
like “Thank you for remembering my birthday.”
3. Don’t gossip. If you do, you won’t be a trustworthy friend,
and you will displease God (Prov. 11:11-12; 18:13). 4. Don’t whisper secrets
in front of other people. The person
left out will get hurt feelings.
5. Cheerfully greet the members
of your family in the morning. 6. Always answer when you’re spoken to- and do
so respectfully. 7. When you haven’t heard someone clearly,
don’t grimace in irritation, but kindly say, “Excuse me?” 8.
Always address adults as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss, never by their first
names. If they are particularly close
family friends, your parents may want you to call them “Aunt” or “Uncle.” This shows respect. In the Southern states children use the
friendly but respectful “Miss Suzy” or “Miss Martha” when speaking to adult
acquaintances. The important thing here
is developing a respect for authority, a quality sadly lacking in our country
today.
Kent and Barbara Hughes
Disciplines of a Godly Family, Crossway Books, 2004, p. 127-
128.
Children are rude because
they are so naturally egocentric. It’s their
needs, their comforts, their feelings that they demand be met-
usually at the expense of weary parents.
Of course, self-centeredness is natural, expected behavior in infancy
and tolerable in toddlers, but it becomes downright unbearable in school-age
children. Proper manners can be a most
effective tool in teaching children that they are not the center of the
universe. And as the realization grows,
they will be well on their way to becoming civilized rather than savage.
Kent and Barbara Hughes
Disciplines of a Godly Family, Crossway Books, 2004, p. 124.