SEXUAL MORALITY-PRE MARRIAGE
A typical
mistake made by Christian singles is to ask, “How far can we go?” The very
question reveals a troubling attitude, and the one who asks it has already gone
too far. But since it is the question that many really want to ask, this is an
honest response to the Bible’s teaching: “Not very far at all.” Physical,
sexual interaction between a man and a woman is reserved for marriage. Too many
Christians believe that so long as full-blown sexual intercourse is resisted,
other forms of sexual interaction are acceptable. But such an attitude is far
out of line with the Bible.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 144. Used by Permission.
Far from
inviting us to play around as much as possible and as close to the fire as we
can without getting burned, [the Bible] makes it clear that a sincere Christian
will cultivate the highest moral and sexual purity, as essential to his or her
worship of God [1 Thes. 4:3-5; Eph. 5:3-5].
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 148. Used by Permission.
Should
we “go as far as we can” without getting into trouble? That is how unbelieving people think.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 145. Used by Permission.
Many men
think of the call to give themselves for a woman solely in terms of her
protection. They say, “I would defend her if there was trouble. If someone
attacked her I would step up for her protection.” But they fail to realize that
when a woman enters a dating relationship, she mainly needs to be protected
from the sins of the very man to whom she is offering her heart. The enemy that
men need to stand up to is the one who lives within themselves: the one who is
selfish, insensitive, and uncommitted. It is when that man is put to death that
the woman will be safe and will be blessed in the relationship.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 72. Used by Permission.
A
Christian man who takes the lead in sexual purity, and who tells the woman that
her heart means more to him than her body, and her purity is more valuable to
him than his own pleasure, liberates her from a cruel bondage and gives her a
blessing that words can hardly describe
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 153. Used by Permission.
One of the
reasons why so many fall into sexual sin – bringing guilt into the relationship
and short-circuiting its emotional and spiritual growth – is that they place
themselves in tempting situations. This is simply foolish, and Christian men
and women who are realistic about sexual temptation will not put themselves in
a position to fall.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 118. Used by Permission.
Sexual sin
will damage and often ruin a promising relationship. It stops the development
of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 152. Used by Permission.
How are
you to avoid falling into sexual sin? The answer is this: while you struggle
with unfulfilled sexual desires, the last thing you should do is to toy with
them. Human sexuality operates on a positive-feedback system. Each stimulus is
designed not to leave you satisfied but to increase your desire until you
finally join in sexual intercourse.
Richard D. Phillips
and Sharon L. Phillips
Holding
Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 149-150. Used by Permission.
Consider the
popular “I need sex.” When this is
elbowed out of the category of desire and lust into the biological, the
assumption is that sex is a biological need, nearly identical to food and
water. The reasoning is that since it is a biological need, sexual self-control
is unnatural, and the only option is to practice “safe” sex. Abstinence,
therefore, is both old-fashioned and biologically untenable.
Edward T. Welch
When People are Big and God is Small, P&R
Publishing, 1997, p. 138. Used by Permission.