The world is clueless when it comes to understanding the true meaning of love. Their words testify to this fact; their actions speak much louder. People consider themselves loving. People seek to be loving. But on our own, people will never define and practice love in its purest and most satisfying form.

We are not hopeless. Fortunately, the God who is love (1 Jn. 4:16) has provided us with the true definition of love in His written revelation, specifically, 1 Corinthians chapter 13. The chapter begins with the primacy of love in verses 1-3 and concludes with the permanence of love in verses 8-13. Yet sandwiched in the middle we see the profile of love (that we have been studying) in verses 4-7.

Eight times in this short chapter (13:1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 13) we see the word "love" which is the English translation of the Greek word agape. Linguistics will tell you this Greek word is virtually a New Testament invention. Agape love speaks not of natural affection, but rather an intense drive that seeks the betterment of another often at the expense of self. It’s an action, not a feeling. It’s volitional, not emotional. It’s determined by the character of the one who loves, not the character of the one to be loved.

Agape is a fairly new word because it draws its meaning and example and significance from the work of Jesus who gave of Himself on the cross for our sins. It speaks of the actions of the One who paid the supreme price to die for the sins of those unworthy. The Scriptures say, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8). This is agape love. Therefore when we offer agape love, this sacrificial love to one another, we are being most Christlike.

On the contrary, the world’s love is always object-oriented. Often a person is told they are loved for a reason rooted in the individual. For example, "I love you because you are attractive." But what happens if you get into a face-disfiguring automobile accident? Or, "I love you because you are talented." But what happens if someone more talented comes along? You can see how worldly love is shallow and often temporary; a condition that people fall in or out of depending on their feelings.

However, agape love is unwavering and steadfast. It is unconditional with no strings attached. Agape love does not set its affection on people because of any superficial reason. It purposely sets its affection on people regardless of who they are or what they have done. It does not love "because," but rather it loves "in order to." It desires to give and is best manifested when it is given to others who are unworthy of our love. It does not change based on feelings or the "lovableness" of the other person, but rather maintains the commitment to love regardless of the circumstances. It loves others as Jesus loves us.

This is why Paul when forced to explain love in 1 Corinthians 13 used 15 verbs to define its essence. Love is an action and is measured in the way we treat others including our enemies.

We have already learned if we love another person we will be patient with the individual. We will forebear, believe the best and remain in self-control. However, there is a flip side. We will also actively seek to show the individual goodness because love is kind. We also learned that love is not jealous. Love does not seek what others have, but also, love will not seek to make others jealous with what we have because love does not boast.

This morning, as we move to the fifth attribute of love, we will learn that love is not arrogant. As always, let’s first begin with the definition.

1. THE DEFINITION OF ARROGANCE

As I stressed earlier, true love takes greater concern in the welfare of others. In Philippians 2 Paul said, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3). Following this verse, he gave the example of the One who exemplified this characteristic: Jesus Christ. Though He existed in the form of God: "He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped" (2:6). "(He) emptied Himself" (2:7). "(He took) the form of a bond-servant" (2:7). "(He died) on a cross" (2:8). This is love, the sacrificial, selfless mentality we are to follow. And when we consider this, possibly nothing is more self-centered and hence unloving than arrogance.

The opposite of love is not hate but rather pride. I mentioned in past weeks that a failure in the attributes of love is entrenched in pride. And possibly no other trait on this list (in 1 Corinthians 13) is more closely related to pride than arrogance (NIV — "(love) is not proud"). The words are almost synonymous. Just as boasting from our last sermon reveals prideful actions, arrogance hits home a little deeper, for it reveals a prideful attitude.

Webster defined arrogance as "the act or quality of having unwarranted pride and self-importance; haughtiness." We can say arrogance is big-headed whereas love is big-hearted (John MacArthur). Arrogance is selfishness whereas love is selflessness. Arrogance is an inflated opinion of self whereas love is an inflated opinion of others. In the modern vernacular, arrogance is being "stuck up" or looking down your nose on another. Someone once said arrogance worships the grand but empty edifice of ego, self-importance and sees others as less human, cardboard cutouts.

I don’t believe we need the Bible to tell us that this attitude which we so often see in others but yet so rarely in ourselves, is unloving.

2. THE EXAMPLE OF ARROGANCE

As we move to the second point, the example of arrogance, we can begin right in the text with the Corinthians church itself.

The Greek verb translated "arrogance" in 1 Corinthians 13, phusioo, literally means "to puff or blow up." The King James Version even goes with this literal translation. J. B. Philips comes close. "(Love does not) cherish inflated ideas of its own importance." Ironically, the word is only found seven times in the New Testament, six of those times are in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians (4:6, 18, 18; 5:2; 8:1; 13:4). I believe it’s safe to say these Corinthian believers needed much work in this area of arrogance as they were one of the most carnal and proud churches mentioned in all of the Bible.

We have already learned how this church prided themselves on their spiritual supremacy. They were filled with conceit and pride which led to strife and jealousy (3:3). Therefore Paul warned them in 4:6 not to "become arrogant in behalf of one against the other." They boasted of their favorite leaders (3:4) while at the same time disregarding the authority of their leaders. So in 4:18 and 19 Paul said, "Now some have become arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I shall find out, not the words of those who are arrogant but their power."

They were even arrogant regarding undisciplined sexual sin in their midst, a sin that even the pagans wouldn’t tolerate. In 5:2 Paul said, "You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst." Possibly most of all, living in a culture that prided itself on information, the Corinthians were arrogant pertaining to their spiritual knowledge to which Paul abruptly said, "knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies" (8:1). They needed to know that knowledge without love degenerates into obnoxious arrogance.

Similar to the Corinthians, we too live in a culture, if you will excuse my pun that prides itself on arrogance. It seems as if everybody is looking out for number one. Not only do they want to be better, but they also think themselves better than others. They believe themselves to be larger than life whereas their existence is God’s greatest gift to humanity. Sometimes this is obvious. Other times this is hidden through self-pity and self-esteem. Most even demonstrate the greatest form of arrogance by placing themselves above the living God. Even their Creator has no business telling them how they need to live their lives.

They don’t yield. Like the two ships that collided in the Black Sea in 1986 which resulted in the loss of hundreds of lives because neither captain wanted to give way to the other. They don’t admit mistakes. Like the infamous quote from Jimmy Hoffa who said, "I may have many faults, but being wrong ain’t one of them." They don’t exhibit any humility. Like offbeat humorist Ashleigh Brilliant who truthfully admitted, "All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance."

People in the world are arrogant regarding their reputation, skin color, wealth, education, employment, abilities and achievements just to name a few. We have been witnessing arrogance in action from many of our fellow American athletes in the winter Olympics.

We should not be surprised that those without Christ would be living such prideful lives, for their father, the devil, is the king of arrogance. But there is no excuse when arrogance enters the church in overt and subtle forms to wreck havoc among God’s people. And spiritual arrogance is the worst and most inexcusable form of this deadly sin. Often those guilty are blinded by its deception.

One man observed, "Pride is so subtle that if we aren’t careful we’ll be proud of our humility. When this happens our goodness becomes badness. Our virtues become vices. We can easily become like the Sunday School teacher who, having told the story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, said, ‘Children, let’s bow our heads and thank God we are not like the Pharisee’" (Today in the Word, September 23, 1995, p. 30).

Here’s two ways we demonstrate spiritual arrogance in the church. Both of these ways were seen amongst the Corinthians:

One way is when we refuse to receive reproof.

The winter Olympics are underway. Pretend you are an elite skier and you know that a fraction of a second will be the difference between a gold metal and going home empty handed. If someone analyzed your techniques and then suggested ways you could shave two seconds off your best time, would you listen? Would you be thankful that a person cared to help you be more successful or would you be offended?

If each of us has as our greatest goal Christlikeness, which far surpasses any gold metal, we should be eager to have someone show us ways we can grow spiritually. I am not talking about embracing a judgmental spirit; I am talking about biblical reproof that is supported in the Word of God. So if the concern is accurate and the correction is biblical and Christlikeness is the result, why do we get so bent out of shape when someone confronts our sin? One word: arrogance. That’s why Solomon said, "Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, reprove a wise man and he will love you" (Pro. 9:8).

Another way we demonstrate spiritual arrogance is the pride that often comes from the increase in biblical knowledge. While increased knowledge of the Holy Bible should make us more humble, it tends to make some people, who learn only to fuel their ego, more arrogant.

Recently all the elders and our wives enjoyed a phenomenal Pastor’s Conference at Keswick. The speaker, Howard Hendricks, repeatedly spoke on the need for discipleship and the consumption of biblical knowledge. At one point in the Conference I pulled him aside and asked him how we can instruct people and ensure that they stay humble with their increased knowledge of the Word.

I mentioned I see so many people falling into the trap of the Corinthians where increased knowledge, even spiritual knowledge, breeds arrogance. I mentioned some of the most arrogant folks I know are professing believers. I mentioned the acronym I learned last year entitled RAM — Reformed Arrogant Men. He agreed with my concerns and provided a profound answer. The only problem was that I was so nervous speaking to the man I respect so much, I don’t recall much of what he said!

Let me see if I can paint for you what concerns me. What I am talking about is the person who feels every one of his doctrinal positions is airtight. The person who is eager to argue and even divide over the minutia of theology. The person who raises his convictions and preferences into a standard that must be followed by all. The person who loves the truth, but has no idea how to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). The person who is more willing to correct others than look for personal shortcomings. The person who is inconsiderate, unyielding and divisive, but fails to understand forbearance, mercy and grace.

An older man in the church included this in his e-mail to me last week. "My goal is to be more accurate and more tolerant of others. Many get narrower and less tolerant (with age)." That’s not getting softer as some would suggest. That’s maturing in Christ and balancing knowledge with love as Paul commanded the Corinthians. Let’s remember how Paul began this wonderful chapter on love. "If I… know all mysteries and all knowledge…but do not have love, I am nothing" (1 Cor. 13:2).

We must avoid both these extremes of spiritual arrogance. The first one is arrogant because we refuse to recognize our weaknesses and then refuse to accept God’s Word as the ultimate standard of truth. The second one is arrogant because we either use God’s Word as a hammer to bash people over the head in an unloving manner or disrupt the unity of the church by demanding all follow our less significant doctrinal distinctives or personal convictions in the areas of Christian liberty.

Peter Marshall summarized both aspects of spiritual arrogance well. "Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with" (Christian Reader, Vol. 32, no. 4).

We must make every effort to put off the sin of arrogance. According to Scripture, arrogance stirs up strife (Pro. 28:25). Arrogance is the mark of false teachers (2 Pet. 2:18; Jude 1:16) and fools (Pro. 14:16). In Proverbs 8:13 God said, "Pride and arrogance…I hate." And verse after verse in the Bible shows how the arrogant will be punished by God (i.e., Psm. 101:5; 119:21; 1 Sam. 2:3; 2 Ki. 19:28; Isa. 10:12; 37:29; Eze. 7:10; 16:49; 35:13; Jer. 48:26; 50:29, 31, 32; Zeph. 2:8, 10; Mal. 3:13, 15; 4:1).

3. THE REMEDY FOR ARROGANCE

Well, as we move to the third point, let’s briefly examine the remedy for arrogance. As in former weeks, the solution is to overcome our love for self.

Arrogance is the warning light that we think way too highly of ourselves. In Romans 12 Paul exhorted us to "not…think more highly of (ourselves) than (we) ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment" (Rom. 12:3). Later her said, "Do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation" (Rom. 12:16).

Measure yourself against God. When you do, you will be humbled by His majesty, awesomeness and holiness. Only when you see who He truly is will you begin to get a right perception of yourself. Realize you are not here to exalt yourself, but Him. Realize you are not here to take credit for the gifts He has given you. Have in you the attitude of John the Baptist. Even though Jesus said, "among those born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist" (Mt. 11:11), John said, "He must increase, but I must decrease" (Jn. 3:30).

We must realize all that we have received in Christ and then exercise those virtues with others. Grace pulls the rug out from under arrogance.

Sinclair Ferguson said, "(Remember how Jesus) has…opened His heart to those whose hearts are closed against us. Then we will see that the heart which is too narrow to receive a fellow Christian is too narrow to enthrone the Lord Jesus Christ. But the heart that is opened to receive the grace of Christ will learn to welcome all those whom Christ Himself has welcomed" (Grow in Grace, p. 88, 89). "Horatius Bonar commented, "An unforgiven person is always self righteous and proud. It is the free, the complete forgiveness of the cross, that humbles the soul and melts the heart" ("The Sin Bearer"). According to Jonathan Edwards, "None deserve the name of Christians, who are not Christlike in their prevailing character. True Christians are clothed with the meek, quiet, and loving temper of Christ. They are attended with the lamblike, dovelike spirit and nature of Jesus Christ. They naturally beget and promote a spirit of love, humility, quietness, forgiveness and mercy, as is manifest in character of Jesus."

Arrogance is extinguished when we know ourselves in the light of God’s character and personal experience of His grace.

Furthermore, get yourself an accountability partner. Find someone who knows you well. Find someone who loves you enough to tell you when he or she observes arrogance. We need at least one person in our lives, men, usually this is your wife who will tell us when we are getting a little too big for our britches.

Finally, pray that the Holy Spirit will show you your arrogance. Confess this sin to God. Repent, consider others more important and begin serving them with agape, self-sacrificial love.

We celebrated Valentine’s Day this week. Often this day can produce some arrogance in me as I get some impressive looks from others in the grocery store when they see me purchasing four red hearts filled with chocolate. Little do they know that one is for my wife and the other three are for my daughters!

Nevertheless, the world tells us that Valentine’s Day is associated with love. There are two errors with this belief. First of all, every day is associated with love for the Christian because every day presents for us the opportunity to give agape love to others. Second, if we were to pick one day most associated with love it would not be Valentine’s Day, but rather Good Friday.

For on that day 2,000 years ago, Jesus Christ, the incarnation of love, demonstrated that love by giving Himself for arrogant people like you and I. He made a decision to humble Himself so others could receive the greatest benefit that would come at His greatest expense. Have you experienced this love from Jesus Christ? If so, there is no room for arrogance.