November 18, 2007  •  Pastor Randy Smith

This past week I learned a valuable lesson: Guys in their 40’s cannot keep up with men half their age. Regardless of my football memories from the glory days (however embellished they may have become in my own imagination), my body does not move and it definitely does not recover the way it did when I was 20. For three long days after our church touch football game, I was hurting in places I didn’t know muscles even existed. And for a guy who spent much of his life making tackles, I don’t know what delusions of grandeur entered my mind that suggested I could play quarterback! Although many of my passes were completed, unfortunately the majority of them were right into the hands of the opponent!

A lesson learned, foolish dreams and interceptions airmailed. Today’s sermon is entitled: A Lesson, A Fool and Abigail. I’ll come back to that.

Though we live in a world that promotes self-esteem, I believe the primary problem we have is not thinking too little of ourselves but thinking too highly of ourselves. I believe our “low self-esteem” only results because others just don’t think we are as great as we happen to think we are. Make no mistake about it. The Bible is crystal-clear. The problem with the human race is not humility, but pride!

One of the clearest ways pride manifests itself is an exaggerated opinion of ourselves. Often this is seen in an attitude of superiority, a general unwillingness to be corrected, an inability to see our own weaknesses and a spirit that sees little room for personal development.

So how does God, who desires our growth, get our attention? How does He break through our stubborn hearts and reveal our weaknesses? What methods does He use to move us along the path of Christian maturity?

Though my answer might surprise you, more often than not, God’s true and tested tool to refine our characters and develop Christlikeness is other people through the bump and grind of daily living, especially during times of interpersonal conflict.

According to Ken Sande in The Peacemaker , conflict arises out of poor communication, differences in opinions, competition and flat-out sinful behavior (p. 30). And though we all have a tendency to avoid conflict, we would do better to begin viewing conflict with others as a sovereignly delivered opportunity for personal growth.

Running away and fighting, our two most natural ways to deal with conflict, fall far short of God’s solution in handling our differences and short-circuit the opportunity for God to display His blessed grace in transforming our hearts.

David was the chosen king. He was anointed by God, filled with Spirit and just counting his days before he would sit on the promised throne. On the outside everything was in place, but on the inside God had much work to do in David’s heart. Like all of us, there were many unseen weaknesses and undetected sins. Like all of us, God wanted David to grow in maturity.

David just came off a tremendous spiritual victory in chapter 24 in his ability to restrain himself and his men from killing Saul (24:6-7). But lest the triumph go to his head, by the next chapter, David is placed in another spiritual test. Before the test involved Saul, now the test involves two new characters: One named Nabal and the other named Abigail.

Personal conflict again. What is God trying to teach David and how will David respond? I have no sermon outline this morning but woven throughout this message will be the fulfillment of the title: A lesson, a fool and Abigail.

In verse 1 it is brought to our attention that Samuel died. The significant departure of the venerated prophet is given little consideration before the inspired writer launches into a specific story for the next 43 verses. From minimal attention given to Samuel, much ink is immediately spilled in describing another figure.

Prior to being given his name, we are well acquainted with Nabal. As one Commentator said, “This way of introducing Nabal is precisely on target, because Nabal’s possessions precede his own person. His life is determined by his property. Nabal lives to defend his property, and he dies in an orgy, enjoying his property. Only after being told of his riches are we told of his name” (Walter Brueggemann, 1 and 2 Samuel , p. 175).

In verse 2 we learn that Nabal lived in Maon (23:24-26) with a lucrative sheering business in Carmel (cf. 25:4). His flock consisted of 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. The text also says he was “very rich.” Unfortunately, his character did not match up to his occupational success. Verse 3 informs us that “the man was harsh and evil.” Furthermore, significant to our study is the translation of his name. In an age when a name meant everything, “Nabal” means “foolish.” Soon we will see that he fulfilled the biblical meaning of that word.

In a sharp contrast we are introduced to Nabal’s wife. Verse 3 states her name is Abigail (meaning: my father is joy(ous)) and she “was intelligent and beautiful in appearance.” This woman who definitely under- married was a portrait of biblical beauty but joined as one flesh to a portrait of biblical folly.

Soon the lives of the “Odd Couple” and the life of David will collide with each other. God will use these two people to test David and teach him a lesson. There is some foreshadowing. Will David respond as a Nabal or an Abigail?

The situation begins in verse 5 when David sends some of his young men to request sustenance from Nabal as Nabal enjoyed his extravagant feast (25:8). After all, David volunteered provisions for Nabal’s servants and protection for his flocks (25:7; 15-16, 21). David humbly asked through his messengers, the end of verse 8, “Please give whatever you find at hand to your servants and to your son David.” Near Eastern customs of hospitality and Old Testament laws suggest Nabal was under obligation to help David.

Verse 9, “When David’s young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in David’s name; then they waited.” I don’t think the delay was Nabal’s attempt to carefully calculate how much food David and his men needed. Rather it was the rise of Nabal’s blood pressure as these men waited for him to blow his cork (cf. Pr. 17:12)! We can say he didn’t take too kindly to David’s request.

As the pressure mounted, the hot-head’s contentious response is recorded in verses 10-11: “Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are each breaking away from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers (my oh my, that’s 4 “my’s”), and give it to men whose origin I do not know?” (emphasis mine and probably his as well! cf. Pr. 27:3).

Listen to a clear cross-reference from Isaiah 32:6: “For a fool speaks nonsense, and his heart inclines toward wickedness: To practice ungodliness and to speak error against the LORD, to keep the hungry person unsatisfied and to withhold drink from the thirsty.”

Soon we will see the foolishness of Nabal testified by his servants (25:17), David (25:21) and even his own wife (25:25), but here Nabal validates his foolishness through his own words. As 2 Timothy 3:9 indicates, a fool makes his folly obvious to all. Or Ecclesiastes 10:3, “He demonstrates to everyone that heis a fool.”

Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, you might be wondering what distinguishes a person as a fool? Using today’s definition, a fool is one who lacks sense. When someone makes ill-advised decisions we might say, “That was a foolish mistake.” Consider the necessary warnings on many consumer products because of the high concentration of foolish people living in our world.

• On a Duraflame fireplace log: “Caution – Risk of Fire.”
• On a Batman costume: “Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.”
• On a bottle of hair coloring: “Do not use as an ice cream topping.”
• On a cardboard sun shield for a car: “Do not drive with sun shield in place.”
• On a portable stroller: “Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.”

Yet according to the Bible, a fool is one who is godless (Psm. 14:1; Isa. 32:6). So what specifically classified Nabal as a biblical fool? Well, there is no better identification of a fool than the descriptions we see in the book of Proverbs. When we consider these descriptions, Nabal fits the bill. He is the Bible’s “Poster-Boy” for foolishness!

• Proverbs 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes.”
• Proverbs 14:16, “A fool is arrogant and careless.”
• Proverbs 18:2, “A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind.”
• Proverbs 20:3, “Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.”
• Proverbs 29:11, “A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.”

Do you get the picture? The biblical definition of a fool is not so much a knock on one’s intelligence but rather an assessment of one’s character.

We are talking about the person who is always fighting, involved in controversy, airing his own opinions, but caring little for the opinions of others. The individual who is difficult to be around, self-centered, close-minded and hostile toward correction. The one who can see the weakness of others but never regards any room for self-improvement. He doesn’t listen, doesn’t learn and (when appropriate) doesn’t take “no” for an answer. One who is considered obstinate, contentious, unteachable and unreasonable.

That is why Proverbs 23:9 teaches us, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.

Word regarding Nabal’s response to his request makes it back to David. It was a test from the Lord. How would David react? Answer: He failed the test! He responded with the folly of Nabal. He sought to resolve his conflict with the “attack mode.” David is soon about to join Nabal among the ranks of the foolish.

His mind is set. His intentions are clear. Verse 13, “David said to his men, ‘Each of you gird on his sword.’” David’s solution was simple. “Since he is noncompliant, I will assemble 400 men, and we will annihilate his household.” Is this any way for the man after God’s own heart to respond? Acting like Nabal? Now he was acting just like Saul as well! Where is the temperance, patience and self-control that David demonstrated in the previous chapter?

In meditating on this thought Alan Redpath said, “Does it not show beyond all possible doubt that I cannot stand against the enemy of my soul unless the Lord upholds me moment by moment? This story tells me that however long I may have been on the Christian path, however often I may have overcome one temptation or another, however many times I have defeated sin in one area, it can strike in another and crush me in a moment.”

I can hear David’s servants: “Sir, we can get food from somewhere else. We don’t think it is the best idea to destroy the guy’s whole household.” And from Nabal’s servants: “Sir, David is coming to kill everybody. Can we please just give the man whatever he wants!” And the response from both David and Nabal? “I’m not about to budge an inch.” It was a classic “power struggle.”

In today’s language, “I’m not going to talk to her because she started it.” “I’m not going to treat my husband better until he shows me some respect.” “I didn’t get my way so I’m leaving.” “If you knew what she did to me, you’d understand that I have every right to act this way.” And when the other person is responding in the same way, we have two stubborn blockheads acting like anything but Christians. The Bible says we are born with folly in our hearts (Pr. 22:15). For some people, it never leaves!

It was time for more reasonable minds to prevail. It was time for the portrait of biblical beauty to enter the scene through the providence of God to save the day. Abigail was the only hope and the servants knew it.

Verses 14-17, “But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, ‘Behold, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, and he scorned them. Yet the men were very good to us, and we were not insulted, nor did we miss anything as long as we went about with them, while we were in the fields. They were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the time we were with them tending the sheep. Now therefore, know and consider what you should do, for evil is plotted against our master and against all his household; and he is such a worthless man that no one can speak to him.”

In verses 18-19 we see Abigail gather enough food to literally feed an army. She packs the donkeys and heads off to meet with David and his men. On the other hand, David is leading the charge, swords drawn, testosterone flowing. It is a classic “guy’s moment” and at the heart of David’s war-cry is the classic pity-party. Verse 21, “Surely in vain I have guarded all that this man has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him; and he has returned me evil for good.”

The tension is mounting. Will David be spared from massive sin and will Nabal’s household be spared from massive death? Fortunately the two parties intersect (25:20). Suddenly, David had to wonder, “Who is this beautiful woman standing in my path with all this food?”

The inner beauty of Abigail is now revealed as she demonstrates much wisdom, skill, grace and humility in her discourse with David. This speech becomes the turning point of the story.

Beginning in verse 23, “When Abigail saw David, she hurried and dismounted from her donkey, and fell on her face before David and bowed herself to the ground. She fell at his feet and said, ‘On me alone, my lord, be the blame. And please let your maidservant speak to you, and listen to the words of your maidservant. Please do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name and folly is with him; but I your maidservant did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent.’”

If there is one knock on this woman, it was the way she disrespected her husband. In popular Grace Tabernacle terminology, “She threw him under the bus.” But I think we must also understand that Abigail only told the people what all of them already knew. And the only way to save her husband’s life was to disassociate herself from his actions.

Yet on the positive side, though she knew nothing of the request, she accepted the responsibility and the blame for her husband’s actions. Contrary to the men, she did not allow her pride to get in the way. She took the high road because it meant achieving a peaceful solution. She saw the long-term benefits greater than her immediate impulses.

Let’s continue, verse 26, “Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD lives, and as your soul lives, since the LORD has restrained you from shedding blood, and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek evil against my lord, be as Nabal. Now let this gift which your maidservant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who accompany my lord. Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant; for the LORD will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the LORD, and evil will not be found in you all your days. Should anyone rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, then the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the LORD your God; but the lives of your enemies He will sling out as from the hollow of a sling. And when the LORD does for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and appoints you ruler over Israel, this will not cause grief or a troubled heart to my lord, both by having shed blood without cause and by my lord having avenged himself. When the LORD deals well with my lord, then remember your maidservant.”

Though she only made a passing reference to the gift, the majority of her words were focused on her God. She understood how David was called by God to be the future king and how much his intended bloodshed would trouble his heart and scar his legacy. She was self-effacing, giving all the credit to the glory of God. In contrast to foolish Nabal and foolish David, she spoke godly words of sound wisdom. She encouraged prudent actions. She modeled self-control. She entrusted all things to God’s hands. Of all the people in this account, she was the only one who saw things from God’s perspective.

Any fool can argue a point. Abigail, on the other hand, demonstrated wisdom in her conversation. She contended for the faith without being contentious!

In summarizing her actions, one author said, “Throughout the story Abigail vindicates the narrator’s judgment of her (verse 3): She is decisive and resourceful in action (verses 18-19a), perceptive in circumstances (verses 19b, 36b-37), courageous in danger (verse 20), engaging in demeanor (verses 23-24), theological, rational, and convincing in argument (verses 26-31a), and shrewd in suggestion (verse 31b). Clearly, Abigail is the Lord’s stop sign, mercifully placed in David’s path” (Davis, 1 Samuel , p. 262-263).

Last week it was a sensitivity to God’s word (24:6) and a tender conscience (24:5) that retrained David from sin. This week it was the divine sending of another person whom God used to keep David from sin (25:32). There are more (early education, laws of the land, physical infirmities, etc), but these are three ways that God keeps His servants from sin.

Have you ever considered it from this perspective? It surely is a blessing to be forgiven for our sins; but it is an even greater blessing to be kept from our sins . We wouldneed to seek forgiveness of our sins less often if we would seek the Lord more diligently to be kept from sin to begin with! As Spurgeon commented, “There is no way of keeping out the fire of sin except by having the fire of grace blazing within the spirit. We must fight fire with fire.”

Though David was guilty of great folly, at least now his heart, unlike Nabal’s, was open and responsive to God’s leading. David chose the wise path of repentance.

On that day David was probably taught several valuable lessons. He understood that it is always right to return good for evil. He remembered that the way of faith, patience in God’s timetable, is always the best plan. He recognized that impulsive, hard-hearted and arrogant behavior is the mark of foolishness. He learned the world of difference between being the master of his own fate and submission to and guidance from the Lord. And he realized that reproof; even from one that might be deemed “inferior” is often God’s best way to get our attention.

Listen to David’s “about-face,” his humble repentance. Beginning in verse 32: “Then David said to Abigail, ‘Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed and from avenging myself by my own hand. Nevertheless, as the LORD God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from harming you, unless you had come quickly to meet me, surely there would not have been left to Nabal until the morning light as much as one male.’ So David received from her hand what she had brought him and said to her, ‘Go up to your house in peace. See, I have listened to you and granted your request.’”

Verse 36, “Then Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; so she did not tell him anything at all until the morning light. But in the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him so that he became as a stone.”

As Nabal was sitting around the breakfast table recovering from his hangover and drinking his morning coffee, Abigail shared her recent events. The man’s world was rocked when he realized how close they all came to death.

“About ten days later,” says verse 38, “The LORD struck Nabal and he died.” Someone said, “Living in a fool’s paradise is great fun, until the rent comes due.” In Nabal’s life, the rent came due.

David took Abigail and she became his wife (25:39-42).

It has been said, “The best of men are but men at best.” David has demonstrated to us that even the “man after God’s heart” is susceptible to temptation and sin. But God is forever teaching and maturing His servants as He works out His will on the anvil of daily drama that we call life. In this account the hand of God was upon David, witnessed in His transforming David more from a Nabal to an Abigail as God was preparing for the nation their greatest king.

God cares just as much to transform your life as well. Do you run? Do you fight? Or do you see interpersonal conflict as an opportunity for spiritual growth?

Charles Swindoll once said, “If you listen to the voices around you, you’ll search for a substitute – an escape route. You’ll miss the fact that each one of those problems is a God-appointed instructor ready to stretch you and challenge you and deepen your walk with Him. Growth and wisdom await you at the solution of each one, the pain and mess notwithstanding” (Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life, p. 85-86).

The “ABC’s” of recovering from a touch football game: Advil, Ben-Gay and Compassionate moms and wives. The “ABC’s” of spiritual growth: Adversity Breeds Character.

As I approach nearly 20 years in the faith, I’ve seen many professing Christians with great zeal and great knowledge of the Scriptures, but very few emulating the meekness and humility of Jesus (2 Cor. 10:1; Phil. 2:8). We can’t jump into a phone booth and come out with a big “S” across our chest for “Sanctification.” Spiritual growth takes time. It takes the perseverance through interpersonal adversity to tenderize us and produce Christlikeness.