By God’s grace (1 Cor. 15:10; 2 Cor. 12:9) through the power of His Spirit (Jn. 14:16) and the provision of His Word (2 Tim. 3:16-17), every disciplined Christian believer with sincere effort (Phil. 2:12-13) will be able to change (Phil. 4:13).
“All the ‘cannots’ in the Bible about spiritual inability are tantamount to ‘will nots.’ When you say, ‘I cannot repent,’ you mean, ‘I will not.’” — C.H. Spurgeon
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Unbiblical Ways* |
Biblical Ways |
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Avoid anger for personal reasons (health, reputation, business, etc.). |
Avoid anger (ultimately) because it is a sin against God (Eph. 4:31). |
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Realize that anger is a product of your environment, a chemical imbalance, unfavorable genetics or a uncontrollable personality type. |
Realize that anger is a deed of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-21) manifesting pride and selfishness (Jas. 3:13-18). |
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Blame other people and/or circumstances for your anger. Seek to change these and not the position of your heart. |
Blame yourself for your anger realizing that it comes from the wickedness of your own heart (Mk. 7:21-23; Jas. 1:13-15). |
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Deny any anger in your life. |
Learn to recognize anger in your life (1 Tim. 4:6). |
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Put yourself first, do what seems best in your own heart, walk away from the situation. |
Confess past sins of anger to God and others you may have offended (1 Jn. 1:8-9; Col. 3:13). Ask for forgiveness. |
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Get in touch with your feelings. Learn to trust your emotions. |
Pray habitually (1 Thes. 5:17) for God’s power to transform your thinking (Rom. 12:2) and to give you the ability to change (Phil. 4:13). |
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Anger is not wrong if it remains internal and within control. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. Even outbursts of anger are justified at times. |
Put off anger and the other related deeds of the flesh (malice, rage, wrath, enmities, strife, disputes, dissentions, factions, slander, gossip, abusive speech, etc.-Gal. 5:19-21). |
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If someone makes you angry, be sure to get them back through slander, gossip, abusive words, or the "cold shoulder." |
Put on (replace the anger with) the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control-Gal. 5:22-23; c.f. Col. 3:10, 12, 14; Eph. 4:24). Especially practice these traits toward those who make you angry. "Get them back" with love (Rom. 12:19-21; 1 Pet. 3:8-9). |
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Practice "relaxation techniques" (visualization, deep breathing, yoga), seek more "personal time" and get plenty of sleep. |
Walk in the Spirit (Gal. 5:16), be on the guard (1 Pet. 1:13) and deal with anger in your heart before it arises (Rom. 13:14). |
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Learn to "manage" your anger. |
Memorize Scripture which is the "sword of Spirit" (Eph. 6:17) designed to overcome sin (Psm. 119:11). Some suggested verses concerning anger are: Eph. 4:31; Jas. 1:19-20; Pr. 14:29; 16:32; and Ecc. 7:9. |
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Show little discernment in the friends you choose. Discrimination of any type is the mother of all sins. |
Do not be yoked with "angry individuals" unless they are willing to change (Pr. 19:19; Pr. 22:24). |
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"Bad things" never happen in our life for good. "Mother Nature" has no intimate relationship to our specific difficulties, difficulties which are beyond her care and control. |
Joyfully realize that God is sovereign to bring all "unfavorable circumstances" into your life for the purposes of His glory and your good in conforming you to the image of Christ (Jas. 1:2; Rom. 5:3-5). |
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Refuse to share your personal life with others. Be a rock and oppose positions of vulnerability. |
Seek a person to keep you accountable (Gal. 6:1-2; Heb. 10:24-25). |
* It is not to be understood that everything listed in this column is necessarily a sin (although some clearly are). Rather the intent is to show the unbiblical/superficial ways of dealing with sin that never address the condition of the heart (1 Sa. 16:7). These methods are incapable in and of themselves to bring ongoing, biblical change for the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31).